sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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