i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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