were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
