would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
