So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
