he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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