No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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