im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
