My nipple is on Facebook.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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