Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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