anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I had to cum in my sink.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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