i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i dont even know how to be here
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
