Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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