my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize