this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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