I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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