The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
