me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
