I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
