Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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