The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
