please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
