There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize