We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
