just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
