she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
