He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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