I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
