Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
