I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
