I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
