Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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