"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
