would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize