ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dicks are not precious.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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