I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
where does the pee come out of this thing
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
