I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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