Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
