When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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