Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
