plz talk dirty to me
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
