Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
