I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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