so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
