he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just come out here and I will go home with you...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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