he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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