i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my shit smells like andre
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
