I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
