I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
