My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
