Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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