She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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