Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
