Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So vagazzling was a success
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
