Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We named our party play list daddy issues
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
