Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
zippers are such a cool invention
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
