yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
