i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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