i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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