yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
