Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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