i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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