Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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