Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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